The Marriage CV
The online dating profile that circulates as a Word doc or PDF — and is very effective
The older I get, the more I think arranged marriage is an outdated term; not because it doesn’t happen but because over the years, the term has been dubbed as another way to suggest a forced marriage, and that is not the case.
Assisted marriage better describes what happens during this process. It’s simple; parents and other family members provide you with solid advice on future potential suitors. It’s like going to your girls for advice on whether a boy is cute or if something is considered a red flag— everyone does it.
Having people who love you and want the best for you is why you take their advice. But for whatever reason, when it comes to the concept of arranged marriages, at times, it is considered weird, strange and to some, creepy.
Before you even meet someone, the first thing that happens is finding them; it sounds simple enough, but it can be hard work. Even with Muslim dating sites and WhatsApp groups that circulate CVs, it's still tricky to sift through them to find the good eggs… I mean spouse.
So, what is the marriage CV? It does what it says on the tin. It covers what a general CV would include, but with refined details. Of course, you’ve got your basic information, education, experience and hobbies. What’s new is the details around your family, your home and where necessary, what you look for in a spouse. It’s a boring size 11 Arial font Word document that you’ll get fed up of seeing. Not every single CV has everything listed here, but most do. It’s better to know than not to know. Some have even addressed key concerns like willingness to live with in-laws, relocate, and more. This allows them to make a quick, informed decision.
These CVs include pictures and are often shared in matrimonial WhatsApp groups that have well over 1,000 people in it. This is in hopes that the family members who are looking can find a suitable partner to forward to the bride and groom. The marriage CV reflects an online dating profile.
Generally speaking, women don’t share their images to protect themselves and not have them circulated or get into the wrong hands.
The details of your family back home in a CV are vital for the elder generation. When I suggested we take that stuff out of my CV, my parents nearly chewed my head off. This is sacred information that helps future potential sus out if you come from a good family or not. This also allowed us to do a healthy background check on his family. It’s a clever way to do some stalking, but not stalking – the families are aware this is happening.
Sounds bizarre, but investigating (stalking) and finding out information on someone is not uncommon. Our digital footprint can share a lot about a person- well intended or not. Everyone does it.
The glaringly obvious way to find your potential spouse is by word of mouth. Unsurprisingly, even with this method, we still end up using CVs.
Anytime I mention the marriage CV, people are fascinated by it. While it might act as a Word doc version of an online dating profile, it’s still unusual but very effective. Most of the arranged marriage couples I know have used this method, and it’s safe to say that they are still happily married.
Once the CVs have been exchanged and there is equal interest from both parties, the plan is to then set up the first meeting. This was only step one.